7 Days, 6 Nights in Dramaland: Where do I sign up?

I saw the movie Austenland this week (hilarious, by the way). A Mr. Darcy obsessed American woman blows her life savings on a dream vacation at a Regency-themed English resort, complete with corsets, carriages, and actors in tight breeches pretending to fall in love with her. This got me thinking. What if there actually was a Dramaland where K-addicts could indulge their every Hallyu-tinted fantasy? And what would it look like? I imagine their brochure might read something like this:

Door-to-Door Service

The moment you arrive, your feet should never touch the ground. Choose from an assortment of comfy, cartoon-shaped slippers. A bellboy doppelganger of your favorite Hallyu Hero will then princess carry or piggyback you up to your room. Some of our most popular choices include:

The Song Seung Heon Peek-a-boo Carry

The Kim Hyun Joong Yee-haw Hold

The Hyun Binnie You-can-vomit-if-you-feel-like-it Variation

Complimentary Yellow Binoculars

Each room comes equipped with a pair of binoculars and a large, picture window. A seaside room includes unobstructed views of Lee Min Ho surfing and showering from 9 to 5. And even the cheaper, obstructed views promise a handsome, flower boy neighbor that you can innocently peep at to your heart’s content.

All-you-can-eat Ramyun

The resort’s mouth watering menu offers everything from Doughnuts to Ddeokbokki. Cider to Soju. But the specialty of the house is, of course, Ramyun. You can enjoy the delicious, noodly treat in the grandeur of our five star restaurant, a cozy pojangmacha on the front lawn, or have room service delivered personally by the chef (who just happens to resemble the charming curmudgeon from Pasta).

Sageuk Soiree

Step back in time each evening at our Sageuk Soiree. If you’re the studious type, you can explore the library with Kim Boong Do and Sungkyunkwan’s own, Lee Seon-Joon. Wander the iridescent blue gardens with Kang Chi. Or, if you prefer to be treated like a princess, sit in comfort on your royal throne while Kim Soo-hyun fakes a performance on the gayageum. (Gats and Hanbok rentals included in the price of the room, but there is an extra charge for ornamental headdresses.)

A Memorable Anyung

Must you say goodbye? We’ll grab on to your wrist and beg you not to leave us, but release you in the end because that’s what true love does. Just don’t expect us to be happy about it. As your limo winds down the drive, a line-up of Prince Lee Shin, Master Joongwon, and A.N.JELL Hwang Tae-kyung will fall to their knees shouting “Kajimaaaaaaaa!”

Please call 1-1-1-1 for more information on our Dramaland packages. We want to make your stay Daebak, so please leave any suggestions for improvement in the comment section below.

Drama Does Darcy (Again & Again)

Rich guy wanders into a small-time party and zeroes in on the witty, fun-loving local girl. He fights his attraction, because she's just a hick with no connections. But her dazzling personality and refusal to kowtow to his bank account quickly reel him in.

Sound familiar? No, it's not the latest chaebol rom-com, it's Pride and Prejudice.

Long before I was a K-drama groupie, I was a Janeite. And the best of all Austen heroes must be the smoldering, enigmatic Mr. Darcy. Imagine my surprise to find this archetypal character copied over and over again in Korean television. The haughty, but hot millionaire shows up all over Dramaland. Here are just a few egocentric examples:



Goo Jun-pyo in Boys Over Flowers

1. Garden Variety Darcy

BOF follows the Darcy stereotype like it was a checklist.

Snobby is initially repulsed by the poor, but plucky heroine.   ☑

Decides he wants her and expects her to be thrilled about it. ☑

His self-image takes a severe blow at her constant rejection. ☑

Has to man-up and become a better person to win her love.  ☑

Of course, Jane Austen never gave her hero amnesia at the eleventh hour (for which I will remain eternally grateful.)

Dokko Jin in The Greatest Love

2. Red Carpet Darcy

Granted Pride and Prejudice doesn't contain the line "Give me back my panties!" but there are still similarities. This A-list Darcy looks down on his C-list counterpart for being a washed up celebrity, and he fights with all that's in his artificial, little heart to ignore her. Silly man-child. If he had read the book, he would have known resistance was futile.

Cha Chi-soo in Flower Boy Ramyun Shop

3. Cougar Bait Darcy

Love sends this poor, little rich boy about two steps short of the loony bin as he falls for the volleyball spiking, chicken foot eating, hot tempered student teacher at his high school. Unlike the usual Cinderella stories, this modern day prince is kicked out of the high rise, hot tub palace because of his love. But from the looks of their post-graduation kisses, he doesn't seem to mind too much.



Baek Sung-jo in Playful Kiss

4. Braniac Darcy

Grade A versus Grade F provides the conflict for this tale. Our super-genius hates stupid girls, and Oh Ha-ni (although completely adorable) is not the brightest bulb in the box. But she is unshakable, and her dogged mix of determination, unflagging devotion, and downright stalker crushing finally wins the smart boy over.

Kim Joo-won in Secret Garden

5. Neurotic Darcy

This Department Store Darcy in the sparkly tracksuit has problems. The kind that require a psychiatrist. He's a claustrophobic, partial amnesiac and seriously stuck-up. Okay, that last one isn't a mental condition, but the way he commits to his class-consciousness, it could be. He ridicules the leading lady at every turn, mocking everything from her looks and fashion sense, to the way she drinks her coffee. (Ah, the cappuccino foam kiss scene!) But our stuntwoman heroine eventually kicks some sense into him. Literally.


Lucky for me, I get to visit Jane Austen's stomping grounds next week. I'm off to Jolly, Old England, so it may be awhile before my next post. In the meantime, I bet Dramaland will crank out a few new Darcys by the time I get back from vacation.